I Give This 5 Out Of 5 Stars

Mount Fuji has a rating of 4.5 stars on tripadvisor.com. What does that mean? Did these reviewers climb it, see it from the train, see it from the plane, go to a restaurant on the ground? This is absurd. The most recent 1 star rating review of the mountain at the time of this writing complains about how the tour company didn’t refund them because it was cloudy… I saw it from a train going to Osaka from Tokyo and it was great. Also, from the airplane I could rate it 5 stars – beautiful day and view of the mountain while sipping a Yebisu beer. It just so happened that when my brother and friends were visiting we took the train to Osaka from Tokyo as well; on the way to Osaka it was too dark to see, and then on the return trip to Tokyo it was a clear day except only the mountain was completely covered in a cloudy storm. And what about someone who wants to hike it for a full day or overnight? Takeaway: go to Mount Fuji only on a clear day. 

It looks cold up there. 2/5 stars.

This post was inspired by a review of Roppongi, the district, that I had read on Tripadvisor. They have since removed district ratings on the site it looks like, but from memory a tourist rated the district 1 out of 5 stars due to being persuaded into a club by a Nigerian and was overcharged. It is tough to refute once the bill of overcharged items comes at the end! Well, I guess we’ll all have to avoid Roppongi!

If only the abandoned house next to mine had an online page. It is right in the middle of the city, with plenty of occupied housing and businesses and people around. I would rate this small building complex 1 out of 5 stars for overgrown vegetation and general creepiness. There is enough land there to build about 4 houses and sell for 500,000 USD a piece for this neighborhood. In the meantime, I’ll continue to look out for squatters or other animals living inside the decrepit buildings and structural damage after earthquakes, while I look for a house to call my own in the vicinity. The neighborhood is quite good otherwise! If you want to learn more about this weird abandoned building problem in Japan, read this article. To quickly summarize, it costs about 10,000 USD to tear down each 100 square meters of a house (I’m looking for a house that is about 100 square meters), then of the total house plus land value mentioned above, it would be 300,000 for the land and 200,000 to build the house, in crude estimates. This is if you can find the owner, or the next of kin living owner who is willing to pay the property taxes and whatnot. And who knows how many fees and how much paperwork that this would require in the land of fees and forms.

I hope that nothing is living in here. 1/5 stars.

Here is a Youtube channel of a guy exploring some abandoned buildings in Japan. Granted, these look to be all out in the relative countryside, while these kinds of structures exist randomly across Tokyo as well.

Take another item, coffee. I drink black coffee. Naturally, I am looking for good coffee when I seek out coffee shops. So, let’s say that we’re looking for a good coffee shop in the setting of Roppongi: Hoshino Coffee Roppongi comes up in the search.

3/5 stars: The fluffiest French Toast that I’ve ever had. It’s really tasty and just right amount for two people but I got sick of eating cream on the top after eating half portion. They might want to get ice cream instead of whipped cream.  – Yume Mizogami

Perfect. There are other similarly helpful reviews about the tasty pancakes, small portion size, nice atmosphere, and too much cigarette smoke, plus a few anecdotes on the coffee taste. What happens when I search for French Toast restaurants, will I find this coffee shop?

I can’t remember the coffee but they have cute cups for milk. 5/5 stars.

My all-time favorite thing that has been reviewed is one that you have probably heard of before. The product has since been taken off of Amazon, but luckily some of the reviews are immortalized in this Buzzfeed blogpost of the infamous Sugarless Haribo Gummy Bears.

I was glued to the toilet seat. Streams of fire burst from my colon. When i wasnt experiencing Satans fury exploding from my rear, i was laying in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Im a 280 pound man. I. Was. Sobbing. – customer

A similar sweetener in Suntory’s Strong Zero probably gave us diarrhea during my bachelor party in Osaka. 4/5 stars.

One comment

  1. Nice one on Mount Fuji and travel advisory ratings. I will be sure not to try the Sugarless Haribo Gummy Bears on my next trip to Japan. haha

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